Brothers
This is a post previously published on an old blog. It's just one of a number of old posts I want to bring back into the revised CardChop.
Growing up without a brother was difficult. As much as I love my older sister, the relationship was different than the one I imagined I would have with another male to bond with over sports.
My sis was, and still is, a sports fan. In fact, she enjoys a broader variety of sports than I. Still, it's not like she'd go out and throw the ball around on those days when my friends weren't available. Because of this unfortunate injustice, I found myself out front tossing the football up in the air and pretending I was at first a quarterback, and then a receiver, catching the game winning pass. During basketball season, I'd be out back, alone, shooting hoops. Those spring and summer months I could be found working on my fielding skills as I threw the baseball against the bottom of the (concrete) shop out back. Having a brother would have been a game changer. Or, at least that was how I envisioned this alternative life.
To rub salt in the wound, Topps decided to feature four pairs of brothers in a subset called "Big League Brothers" in its 1977 Topps Baseball set. While the Brett and the Reuschel brothers didn't look particular close on their card photos, Lee and Carlos May looked at least amicable. And then there were the Forsch brothers- Bob and Ken. Not only were the pair smiling- they were bonded by a handshake.
Five years later, just as I was nearing the end of my card collecting youth, I was reminded of this emptiness when Topps featured 8 pairs of brothers in its 1982 football product. The design of this subset was pretty boring and didn't allow for the collector to have an idea one way or another of the closeness of their relationships. And unlike the backs of the Big League Brothers cards, these didn’t feature anything about the players, except the standard vitals. Perhaps having a brother wasn’t all that exciting- or perhaps the designer didn’t have brotherly love towards his.
Five months ago, a woman I graduated with contacted me and told me that years ago her husband found out that the man who he thought was his biological father was in fact, not. Instead, it was a man who shares the same name as my father. She and I decided to meet and, without going into details, I became convinced that her husband is my half brother. While no DNA tests have been done (and probably won’t), there was no doubt in my mind that this man was my brother. I left the meeting that night with little hope of meeting this man, who had not shown an interest in meeting me or my father. Curbing my enthusiasm, so as not to come away disappointed, I tried not to think about it much for the next few months (which was impossible). Until a few weeks ago, when I saw him at the store. Twice within a week. The second time, he walked right next to me. So I reached back out to his wife and was informed that he was willing to meet. So, this past weekend, while all of their kids were in town, we had an opportunity to get our families together and get to know one another a little over the course of almost 5 hours.
It might be too late in life to go out and toss the ball around, but it’s not too late to develop a relationship. We just might have entered the red zone.
Post scriptum: In the 18 months since meeting, I’m pleased to say that I have developed a relationship with J and his family. While it’s certainly not how it could have been, it’s been pure joy getting to know him and his (adult) children.
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